introverts and motherhood

I just read this article about introverts and motherhood (via the Aquila Report) and thought I would share it. I wouldn’t say that I am a true introvert but I absolutely volley between needing to get out and be around people and then needing some (or a lot of) alone time to recuperate: maybe a bit more of the later. It was very encouraging to me to read that there are other mothers out there who struggle with the same issues but that there are ways to accept who you are and work with your strengths and weaknesses.

If you can relate to this struggle, I hope that this article encourages you.

time & jelly beans

This summer has been busy
 and very sweet so far!

Check out this video made with jelly beans!

I hope you are making

 the most of your jelly beans!!! 

treadmill 101

Turn off the treadmill before leaping off like a Superhero to save your child from imminent danger.

I was on a treadmill at the gym two weeks ago. My husband was walking next to me and the boys were playing on a jungle gym where we could see them. I like exercising with my husband because it feels like a date and his dance moves on the treadmill crack me up. I had done all the weight machines and was three minutes into my warm up on the treadmill when my youngest decides to pull a Houdini move and go through a tiny slot in a step about eight feet from the ground. My mother instincts again flew into high gear and I knew this wasn’t going to end well! Sure enough, he got stuck with his arms twisted above his head and he couldn’t get back up or down; he was just dangling there…stuck! Like any Super-Hero-Mom, I instantly turned to leap off the treadmill to rescue him. Except I didn't turn the machine off!!! I ended up taking the biggest tumble of my life!!! I twisted and fell very hard on my shin and when I tried to get back up, I fell again and the treadmill proceeded to sheer off the skin on my left knee.

I heard people around me gasp and ask if I was alright but I just bounced back up and raced over to save my son. I lifted him up so he could maneuver his arms around and come through the slot and set him gently down on the ground. As soon as he was safe, I felt this intense pain in my knee and leg that took my breath away. I hobbled over to a bench and asked my son, “What were you doing?” trying my best to sound like Laura Ingalls Wilder's mother!  Another wave of pain overtook me and I told my middle son to tell dad that we needed “to go now” as I fought back tears. I lifted up my yoga pants and saw my knee was bloody. Somehow, I managed to hobble out of the gym without making eye contact with anyone…then into to the car and then into the house.

my knee; you really don't want to see my shin

As soon as I got home, I elevated my leg and started icing the growing egg on my shin. I knew it was bad by the size of the swelling. I didn’t think I broke my bone but it didn’t look good. I couldn’t walk that night and could barely sleep. The next couple of days I stayed off my leg as much as possible and kept icing and elevating it. After a week my shin was still very swollen and still in pain so I went to my doctors where she wanted x-rays taken Stat! The next day I had to see an orthopedic doctor and I was more than relieved that all was O.K. there were no fractures and that the swelling and severe bruising would subside. Of course, he added - to stay off the treadmill for a while. Nice!

I’m kind of hesitant to go back to the gym as I am sure people will recognize me as “that girl who fell hard.” And of course, I had to fall in January when the gym is packed with people striving hard to keep up their New Year’s Resolutions! In time, I will go back, as soon as the pain subsides and the swelling goes away.

As I grow older, I am more confident in who I am and who I am becoming and care less about others' perceptions of me, and they are only perceptions.

I leave you with this quote that has really encouraged me when I have felt like giving up!

 Press On

 Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance.

Talent will not;

Nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.

Genius will not;

Unrewarded genius is almost legendary;

Education will not;

The world is full of educated derelicts.

Perseverance and Determination alone are omnipotent.

- US President Calvin Coolidge

a lot to be thankful for

On this last day of August, I am reflecting over our summer and it has been a really great summer for our family. Last year, our summer project was tearing down an old deck, breaking up concrete and regrading the backyard. It was exhausting and consumed our entire summer. This summer was more relaxing and our only house project was hitting our 1970’s basement which is in much need of TLC. We are breaking that project up in small baby steps. That left time to really relax and enjoy each other, work out at the gym, serve at our church, fellowship with friends and family and meet some new friends too!


Our family did say goodbye to several friends and loved ones and through faith we believe we will see them once again in heaven. Some that left were as young as 44 and others, though seasoned with age, it still seemed too soon to say goodbye. Each touched our lives in many ways and, in time, we will find a place for our grief. We will take what they have impressed on us and share it with others.

With life so fleeting, I am reminded to slow down, yet again, and look into my children’s eyes and really look at them, really listen, and linger a little longer as I hug them and tuck them in at night. Yes, there will always be house projects and life gets messy and loud, but they are only little once; once. You never get that time back. So I am soaking in their energy, laughter and never ending questions and focusing on being joyful and content with what I have been given.

And boy, do I have a lot to be thankful for!

... and so much more!

planned and unplanned things

 

Summer has started off with a blast filling up the little squares on our family calendar.

Some things so far were planned and others surprised us.


Planned:

~ End of the year home school review
~ Three birthday pool parties…..in 1 week!
~ A baby’s baptism
~ Joining a gym
~ Digging up part of the backyard for a flower garden & a blueberry bush
~ Going away party for a friend


Unplanned:

~ A fish funeral
~ Computer down and out for a couple days
~ Me – down and out for a couple days with an unmerciful migraine
~ Frog-setting school frogs for the summer – thanks, Honey
~ Meeting a fascinating lady starting a horse rehabilitating farm to bring together horses and people who have experienced emotional/physical pain ~ great story/will update later
~ Impromptu cookouts, lunches and play dates
~ Fighting off yet another migraine

Some other pictures...

making new colors and shades

a beautiful rainbow

"Wag" the fish

 
Saying "Good Bye" to Wag the fish

Picking out plants for our garden

I’m looking forward to some more
planned and unplanned fun things ahead!

bugs & fish

My computer ate a bug.

While it is getting fixed, I have admittedly
done more yard work and laundry than usual.
(shhh, don't tell anyone)

Here is a funny link that
anyone who feeds children will appreciate.
Having three boys, I can relate.


via  nie nie

Good news:

~ Our butterflies all survived and we let them go.
~ We don't have any tornado damage in our neighborhood.  What crazy weather today.
~ We only have one more week of home school.
~ We have four pet fish!
~ I got the chance to play ping pong with my Dad this week. I LOVE to play ping pong and my Dad has a great serve I can barely return.
~ My youngest is taking a month of Taekwondo lessons and loves it.
~ God has answered some prayers in our lives that simply brings me to tears reminding me that He is Faithful.


Sad news:

~ We let our butterflies go.
~ We may only have three pet fish by tomorrow morning.
~ My youngest will have his first taste of heartbreak in the morning.
~ I have never overseen a fish funeral before.
~ It was bittersweet celebrating Memorial Day with family, knowing some close friends and family have loved ones far from home and in harms way protecting our freedom.

SMILE! : )

loved ones

My grandmother is here for a three week visit!

It all seems right when we share the same zip code.

Living far away from loved ones is hard.

I am soaking up our time together.

Rumors abound that she plays a slick hand of Bananagrams.

Excuse me while I brush up on my Bananagrams skills.

My Grandma Helen.

encouragement

Stephanie Nielson never fails to deliver an encouraging perspective.

If you need encouragement today,

 read her post,

 “Post Surgery and My Dream!”

***

Ps. I've been busy, all good stuff, I’ll recap on my class and other fun things soon!

I'll never get tired of little boys racing over to me

 with smiles on their faces, dirt and all,

 delivering “flowers” for their mama.

pretty tulips

Today was one of those blah days.
The one where you wake up sick and
can’t will yourself to do anything productive.
On top of that, my husband was home sick too.
He had a bit more energy than me and took over the morning routine
with the boys and when he crashed in the afternoon
I brought out a pop-up tent and let the boys “camp” in the living room.

It rained all day, or most of it, I think.
I didn’t go outside so I can’t say for sure.
Anyway, these photos of my tulips do make me smile.
So if you are having a blah day too,
here are some pretty tulips to look at.

The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.
Isaiah 40:8

Oh, wait!
I did pull out a hook and some pretty yarn and
crocheted a bit…the day was not all lost!

moments of reflection

Time pauses briefly and allows me to breathe in moments.
Today, I am enjoying moments of reflection.
Moments that entwined with other people whom I love
who challenged me to grow into the woman I am today.
I am blessed. I am humbled.
I am still becoming who I am meant to be.


If we discover a desire within us
that nothing in this world can satisfy,
also we should begin to wonder if perhaps
we were created for another world.

C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Joy?

So we have had a rough week, month, three months. My husband has asthma and has been battling head/chest colds since late October. Not fun for him or us. With several rounds of antibiotics, steroids and also a nebulizer he still wasn’t able to kick the colds. We all took a turn being sick through December and I got my cold (without any ribbons) on Christmas day. So this week he was going down faster than an apple in New York City on New Year’s Eve. And Friday was the clincher. After an entire night of hacking, and chills and a fever…..he was done. Friday morning I took him to the emergency room and he was promptly taken back to start oxygen, fluids, antibiotics and blood work.

I felt really bad for my husband as he lay there so weak and frail completely powerless as they were poking needles over and over again in his arms. The most exciting needle was the ABG. We never heard of it before and we never want to again. It hurts like a bad word. Late that night he was finally able to get settled and in a room.

The results are in….Pneumonia; both lungs. Joy.

This verse whizzed through the back of my brain as I choose not to focus on it.


2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1: 2-5

I don’t feel very joyful. My husband is sick. I am tired. The boys are getting tired. I know several days in the hospital will be expensive. Joy? Really?

After dropping off the kids, visiting him and then racing back to pick them up again this morning, I fell on the bed to close my eyes for a minute. I couldn’t sleep because my oldest son was in the basement practicing the worship songs for Sunday’s service. Seriously? Does he have to do this right now? I am so tired. Doesn’t he know that I might want some quiet after a long, stressful day yesterday and a busy one today?

I drifted off a bit and then back as I heard the words he was singing.

“Open the eyes of my heart, Lord” he was stuck on that beginning chord with his guitar or something because he sang that line about fifteen times. Seriously? Come On.

After the fifteenth time hearing that line I started to think God was speaking to me. Alright, I thought to myself, I will try to open my heart.

My son continued to sing the rest of the song beautifully in his deep, yearning voice that moves everyone in a room.

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see you
I want to see you

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see you
I want to see you

To see You high and lifted up
Shining in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
I want to see you
I realized that hearing my son sing these words might not be an interruption but a blessing from God. A good reminder.

If you want to hear a version of this song, click play below.



I honestly don’t think joy is always a feeling, I think it is more of a choice.

For me it is choosing to focus on the truth which doesn’t change from day to day like my feelings.

So……things I am thankful for today.

My husband is stable now and beginning to cough less and get some rest!My mother was great in taking the kids last minute and playing with and feeding them until late in the evening yesterday.
My sister and her husband helped watch the kids today too.
My sister let me vent to her last night.
My older brothers called to check in on us. : )
Some family members were able to visit my husband.
A good friend of his stopped in to pay him a visit. I’m sure he made my husband laugh into a coughing fit.
It was a beautiful warm day and the kids were able to play outside.
I now know the hospital's new floor plan like the back of my hand.
I went grocery shopping earlier in the week and had pulled pork in the crock pot ready for the family to eat for the next couple of days!
I am now a professional emergency room attendee and had everything I needed for the long stay; even yarn and a crochet hook.

My ER List
Big gym bag with pockets
Phone/charger
Daytimer: with phone number/doctors info./insurance info. etc.
Wallet, change for vending machines, cash for parking
Medicines the ER patient takes
Nuts and granola bar when I feel my blood sugar dropping from seeing too much blood (which I did)
Scarf/jacket for sitting in the only chair available that is always under an air vent.
Magazines/something to keep my hands busy = crochet hook & yarn
Bible verses for encouragement
Pad of paper and pen for writing down: questions/doctors names/times of meds/room numbers/where you parked the car, etc.
Ibuprofen


I am putting my weary little head down now.
I wonder if there will be another song playing.

Good night!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!

This message is one I can’t repeat enough.

Choose to bring in this New Year with a blast but please do it responsibly!

You never know whose life you will save!

I hope you all have grown a bunch over the last year and plan to use your new knowledge to make yourself another great year!

Mistakes and all, bumps and all...they help us grow into who we are meant to be!

Cheers to a New Year!!!!

puppets, the circus and dancing

I am sewing little, animal hand puppets right now. I have never sewn a puppet before in my life. I am not sure why I thought it was a good idea, on December 22nd, to “whip up a couple puppets” for the nieces and nephews. They are turning out really cute and challenging my beginner sewing skills at the same time so it is a win–win.

earlier…

Both little boys are sick and I am not feeling very jolly myself. My house seems to shrink each day I stay indoors tending to their hot-as-lava fevers. We did get out for a bit today to the lovely pediatricians office to test the boys for Strep. The waiting room….I am not joking…was standing room only. I literally felt like I was in a crazy, clown car at the circus. People were trying to push their way in as others were spilling out. I know I heard clown music somewhere off in the distance.

We were squished in there like sardines: sick, hacking sardines. I waited over an hour in the circus/sardine waiting room, all the while trying to hush my kid’s awful hacking and micro-managing where their fingers were landing. Between the anti-bacterial, hand wipes and the I Spy books, we made it out of the waiting room half-alive….only to find out that we won’t have any hard results back for the Strep test until Tuesday. Somehow that doesn’t help me over Christmas.

Joy in times of trials is a mysterious dance that doesn’t have exact steps.
Some days the dance goes well and other days I trip over myself.
What helps me the best is to keep looking up, not down at my feet/circumstances but off in the distance:
the backdrop.
Through faith, I believe the backdrop of my life is Eternity.

When I realize that a trial,
no matter how painful,
no matter how long,
no matter how completely exhausting...

is temporary,
is what God has allowed for me,
is what He is sending me along with His strength,
the joy returns.

The dance slowly becomes easier.
I resist less, let go and begin to follow.

There are others that do the dance better.
I watch them and learn.
They have danced the dance much longer than me and some of their trials, to me, seem unbearable.
And yet, there they are…dancing…one step at a time: crying…one, two, three…praying…four, five, six…trusting…seven, eight, nine…

So jolly or not, sick little boys or not, exhausted or not….I am going to put on some music and dance.

my mother going to a dance

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas/Holiday. I will post our family Christmas photo sometime over the weekend.

Slow down…focus…breathe

“Breathe…stay calm….relax…”

I have quietly repeated this to myself over the last week. I was sick over the weekend and now I am trying to play catch-up. I was a bit behind before I got sick. So, I am making some adjustments to get through the laundry, phone calls, lists, errands, baking and so forth.
So far, I have added more caffeine, cut out an hour of sleep a night, said, “no,” to some people (sorry), delegated and let my kids watch an extra show (or two, gulp!). It seems to be working. I am making baby steps in catching up.

The kids and I decorated the inside of the house for Christmas and my husband and the kids hung up lights outside. Some of the decorations are old….








and some have been added recently…








I like hearing the kids saying, “Oh, I remember this!” as they scamper to hang the decorations in some oddly placed fashion always below eye level. I don’t mind. My two youngest are little. They are healthy and energetic and enjoy helping me decorate. My oldest is busy with college, work, church and giving back to others what he has learned.

What is there to fuss about, really?

‘That the Christmas Nutcracker should really be placed up here’ or complain ‘That I would much rather have the pretty, white lights gracing our house.’

Isn’t it all just fluff when you stop and think about what is really important?

I know of two women that are currently passing away. They are leaving behind spouses, children, grandchildren and many loved ones. Many are lifting them up in prayers.

- Who cares about a Christmas Nutcracker? -

I think of my friend, Jeannette, who has buried a husband and two of her four children. She lost her last one just this past January. She is facing this Christmas with fresh pain but not without hope. The hope that is sometimes lost in the decorations, the lists and the stress of this time of year.

And that is the hope of Jesus Christ.

This hope keeps me going through some of the toughest times I have ever faced. If you are overwhelmed, facing difficulties, illness, loss or recovering from a stapled finger (wink, wink), I encourage you not to lose hope but search for it. You don’t even have to move away from your computer screen. Just click here or read below.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1-2

So please forget about the “Perfect” Christmas/gift/house/dinner/decorations/cookies/music/candles/card/wrapping paper/outfit/kids/impressions and enjoy the fact that you are alive at this moment, enjoy those who you are with, be kind and patient and be thankful for what you have.

Enjoy the little things.

They are so more important then all the fussing.

Don’t lose focus on the reason we celebrate; true Joy, true Hope!

So, I smile when I pull in the driveway and see my colorful bulbs clinging to the side of the house. It means I have a husband who cares enough to help and build memories with our boys and that we have electricity! I smile when I walk down the hallway and notice a tiny Christmas decoration way out of site because I know it was carefully placed by little, helpful hands that grow up so fast. Too soon, those hands will be asking for the car keys, and one day they might carefully place a ring on a woman’s finger.

But for now,
I stop and smile.

I am thankful to be alive and blessed with so much love and hope.


“Honey, you can put the Christmas Nutcracker anywhere you like! Yes, it looks perfect right there next to the recycling!”

crochet...Kipper...and a fever

The youngest fell sick today with a fever. So as we read books, rested and watched some Kipper videos I did a bit of crocheting. In my imaginary spare time, I have been learning some basic crochet techniques. Art of crochet by Teresa has some very good tutorial videos. She explains what she is doing, what size hook she is using and then shows the technique in slow motion. I like learning this way. I am thinking of crocheting a blanket out of extra yarn that I have been given and some that I have had around the house for a while. I have been inspired by this blanket.


source: lemondedesucrette

No, my blanket will not look like this. I have three boys. Nothing in the house stays white for very long. If I follow through with the blanket idea, it will have a darker border. We’ll see. So far, I have learned to do a flower, a granny square and a basket weave.

My six-year-old showed interest two weeks ago and has crocheted two rows with help. And today, my eight-year-old asked if I could teach him to crochet so he can make a blanket for his stuffed monkey. He is making progress with a rainbow design with some help too. If my little boys can do it...then you can too! If you are interested check out Teresa's videos!

frolic and explore...

When the kids begin that nit-picking routine with each other late in the evening, you know the one that starts off with the tit-for-tat comments and not far behind comes an escalation of voices and tears and “I’ll never play with you again!” yeah that one;
this is where I whisk them off before the evening starts to completely unravel....

Outside!

There are no toys to fight over, no rooms to pout in, no distractions and just a heck of a lot of space! And boys need a lot of it!

Even if it is for thirty minutes, a change of scenery does the whole family good.

Combatants become friends again.

Fingers point to guide our eyes toward something interesting not at a culprit.

Even I get pulled out of my own maze of thoughts and simply absorb the colors, sounds and smells around me.

It is hard to be in a bad mood outside with nature beckoning you to frolic and explore.

And if you have forgotten how to, follow a child’s lead, they will show you how.

The Beach Part 1

We went to the beach last weekend with family and had a lovely time. On the way to the beach, I pulled the car over to pick up some locally grown fruit at a farm. The fruit was delicious! They were juicy, sweet and devoured quickly.
I love my little ‘fruit piranhas!’

Also, on the way to the beach, I pulled the car over to pick up something I really didn’t want

a speeding ticket.

My sweet husband usually does the long drive for us. But, this time we drove down separately, as he had to leave the beach a bit earlier than we did. I don’t mind driving and I was secretly excited as I could decide what music/story to play on the radio/tape player! My husband loves music, Loves Music!!!
When we are to drive anywhere over 20 minutes, he thinks there must be an iPod playlist to go along. Actually, when I first met him, there was hardly a thing he did that didn’t require music to accompany him. I thought that was funny. So since music is his passion, I usually leave it to him. The only problem is that he has a much broader, eclectic taste in music than I do and our music tastes either don’t overlap as much as we would like or the music that we do agree on has been way over played;

Sorry; Sting, U2, Colin Hay, The Monkeys, and B-52’s.

So, I’m cruising with these big sunglasses on, a 1950’s scarf tying my curls back, snacks in hands reach, the two little ones in the back and we are singing along to a kid friendly tape (yes, I said tape). I thought I was going the speed limit but the area I went through dropped 10 miles lower without me noticing.

Oops!

The officer was nice, I was embarrassed and the kids were curious:

Why are we stopping? What does that police officer want? Is he carrying a weapon? Can you turn the music back up? Can we go now? When will be at the beach? Can I have a snack? What is a registration card?

This is my first speeding ticket. Wow, I made it this far being a good citizen. And the first time I get a ticket, I get to share that experience with my kids.
Lovely!

As I am patiently waiting for him to bring back my license, registration and my little ticket, as well as fielding questions from now squirmy kids: my cell phone rings. It is my mother-in-law checking in. I was too embarrassed to tell her I was sitting in the car with her grandchildren waiting for my speeding ticket.

After the nice officer gave me the ticket I sped off, just kidding, I slowly pulled back onto the road and decided to turn this situation onto an educational experience. Conversations followed like: “Well, boys, the reason we have speed limits...” and “the police officer was doing exactly what he was trained to do” and “it is great to be reminded of the rules that we must follow” and on and on as the blush slowly faded from my cheeks. The boys were satisfied with my explanations and quickly became distracted as we approached the beach and all was soon behind us.

And, yes, rules are there for a reason.

And the rule for this beach trip was to have FUN!
And that we did!

I was a little relieved when my husband told me, after teasing me about it for two days, that he almost got a ticket in that very same place.

Now, how do I work this ticket into my scrapbook page of us at the beach?