pumpkin bread, introverts and kindness

New neighbors are moving on our street this week. So I decided to make some pumpkin bread and bring it over to them as a welcome gift. As I pulled out a can of pureed pumpkin, my middle son anxiously asked me what I was going to make. I told him I was going to make pumpkin bread and the recipe makes ‘three’ loaves. Before I could tell him who the loaves were for, he excitedly said, “Oh, we can give one to the new neighbors!”

I was taken back a bit by his response as that is not his usual inclination: being neighborly with the neighbors. In fact, he is guarded toward our friendly neighbors and their intrusion on ‘his alone time’ or ‘our family time.’ Granted, we had a rough year a while ago where we had a parade of people knocking on our door at all hours of the day. All lovely people, just a little too much. And at that point in time, I was still floundering at trying to create healthy boundaries and hadn’t quite learned how to say, “Sorry, we are busy right now!”  We all got worn out.

He is still scarred.

All in all, he is a sensitive introvert who needs more alone time then the rest of us. Since then, I have learned how to create boundaries and how to respect his need for space.

God made us all different.

So, I was very surprised at his response and yet very pleased.

I praised him for his thoughtfulness and told him that was exactly what I was planning to do: make pumpkin bread for the neighbors. As he skipped away, I was trying to connect the dots of how he came up with that idea on his own. Then I remembered, about three years ago, when a new couple moved on our street, I bought an apple pie from a local bakery and the boys and I walked over and brought the new neighbors the pie. He remembered that.

We also have memorized Galatians 5:22-23,

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

This verse comes up in our daily conversations as we go over behavior we are working on.

I believe those two things helped lay the groundwork for his response today.

I was again reminded of the simple truth; Our children are watching us and they remember how we treat people.

I am not a perfect neighbor or parent but, I try to do the best I can with the skills I have at this time. I also know that actions speak louder than words and living out our values in front of our kids has a far greater impact on them then we realize.

Keep going strong, mammas!

It’s not an easy job, but it is SO worth it!


Here is the recipe, it's so delicious! (I cut out some of the sugar) Enjoy!