letting go

My oldest son moved out of the house last week.

It hasn’t been easy for me.

 He moved out for a year and a half when he was around nineteen and then later asked to move back in so he could save money and focus on college. He is twenty-three, mature and he is more than ready to be independent. He has traveled to Germany, Belize and around the United States and is fully capable of taking care of himself.

It is the location that is difficult for me.

 He is four and a half hours away.

 For a mom who has a close relationship with her son, this is hard. And for two little boys (7 and 9) that look up to their big brother it’s going to be a big adjustment.

He is so kind and encouraging, very pleasant to be around and is so helpful around the house we really miss him.

I have always known that children are a gift from God, on loan to us to train up.
The rearing and training can be hard especially during the toddler and the teen years but the letting go, though it comes in stages, is very difficult.

Things that are helping me keep things in perspective:

Knowing that God is in control

Consistent scripture reading and prayer

Refocusing my thoughts when they turn inward and selfish

When I mentioned how far he was moving to another mother, she excitedly exclaimed that four and a half hours isn’t far at all. Her oldest moved to Oklahoma!

He is not in another country in harms way fighting terrorist, he is working with church

We set up Skype and we love it! At least we can all see his smiling face when we talk

He has a great group of people around him helping him get acclimated to the area and with his new job

We can meet half way and hang out with him for the day

He really is only a phone call away

He moved to a beautiful area and we can’t wait to visit him, his friends and the area

We were so blessed to have him move back in to our house and have some more time with him. It was especially good for him to be able to bond with his little brothers. They now have a great relationship to build on

***

We “Skyped” tonight again and he is doing great! He really likes the people he is working with and has met some fantastic friends and is starting to get to know the area!

Letting go is hard but inevitable.

It is an important transition for both mom and child.

Each day is getting a little easier. I am so proud of him!

I must say I am very excited to see where God leads him over the next year.

being busy, thankful and not enough

I have been in more than I have been out over the last two weeks.
And it’s o.k.
I have packed quite a bit in since August and I am relishing this time of slowing down.


A brief rundown of things that filled the last three months:

Started up another year of home school

Signed the boys up for a weekly gym class – best thing ever!

Threw a fantastic 40th birthday party for my husband

Multiple trips to parks and nature hikes

Science Center field trip

Mummified an apple

Volunteered a lot at our church for various ministries

Slipped a lot of money under pillows – the boys have lost a lot of teeth lately

Ordered more home school books

Went to a women’s conference and heard Sharon Betters speak! She has written some very powerful books! If you have lost a child or endured incredible challenges lately, I strongly encourage you to get one of her books!  

Filled the role of a roadie twice

Was down and out with a terrible head cold for a week

Did a photo shoot that challenged me to figure more stuff out with my new camera

Did a ton of science experiments with the boys

Baked homemade cinnamon rolls, pretzels and pizzas

Said goodbye to our very old and dear television

Balanced wearing the nurse hat while two of my boys got sick

Pulled out and went through the boy’s winter clothes and was perplexed why all of my boy’s pants are now capris

Promptly measured my boys and smiled when I realized that they had both grown over an inch over the last four months

Became the landlord of a snail

Threw an Egyptian themed birthday party for my youngest

Hunkered down and survived Hurricane Sandy

Carved spooky pumpkins

Co-hosted a friends 40th birthday party

Tried out new recipes from Pinterest

Voted!

Went to a campfire, sing-a-long, s’mores-fest!

Endured a painful, oh-so-painful root canal

***

Some pictures...

Fall weather has settled in Maryland quite nicely.
Tangerines, pomegranates and bags of mixed nuts at the grocery store confirm that fall has indeed arrived. Around this time of year, I succumb to my urge to crochet something and I pull out my yarn and hooks and begin to create something, anything.
Crocheting is relaxing to me and I am a big believer in keeping hands busy!

I am very thankful for lots of things in my life right now but mostly for knowing that I do not have the strength to do any of this stuff in my life by myself. I am reminded of that daily. I am human and constantly fail at reaching my personal level of achievement. I see it, my husband sees it, as do my kids. This keeps me grounded.
But at the same time it gives me hope knowing that I can draw on my Heavenly Father’s strength at any time, know that I am forgiven and that He sees me as perfect!

This song has been on my heart lately. Enjoy!


Have a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving! ~ Inge

Oh, and I am making my delicious Carrot Soufflé again!!

Click here for this mouthwatering recipe!

bugs & fish

My computer ate a bug.

While it is getting fixed, I have admittedly
done more yard work and laundry than usual.
(shhh, don't tell anyone)

Here is a funny link that
anyone who feeds children will appreciate.
Having three boys, I can relate.


via  nie nie

Good news:

~ Our butterflies all survived and we let them go.
~ We don't have any tornado damage in our neighborhood.  What crazy weather today.
~ We only have one more week of home school.
~ We have four pet fish!
~ I got the chance to play ping pong with my Dad this week. I LOVE to play ping pong and my Dad has a great serve I can barely return.
~ My youngest is taking a month of Taekwondo lessons and loves it.
~ God has answered some prayers in our lives that simply brings me to tears reminding me that He is Faithful.


Sad news:

~ We let our butterflies go.
~ We may only have three pet fish by tomorrow morning.
~ My youngest will have his first taste of heartbreak in the morning.
~ I have never overseen a fish funeral before.
~ It was bittersweet celebrating Memorial Day with family, knowing some close friends and family have loved ones far from home and in harms way protecting our freedom.

Public Speaking 101

So, I made it, I survived!

After listening to this great TED speech (see below) and some other circumstances that arose this last week, I decided to take the plunge and sign up for a public speaking class.

I don’t particularly like, wait...scratch that, I hate speaking in front of groups. It literally makes me panic. I am great at behind the scenes kind of stuff and excel when I am totally focused and alone. Put me in front of a group of people and I can’t remember my own name.

I like hanging out with my friends and family and I really enjoy meeting new people. But I have always said that speaking in front of a group is not my gift. Well, how will I ever know if I never try?

Some of my greatest times of growth have been through circumstances that pushed me out of my comfort zones: like “fish-out-of-water” circumstances. They are the times when I thought, “This is crazy, I can’t do this!” but then looking back…yes, it was crazy and I did do it. I survived.


So, within the first five minutes of class, our gregarious, young teacher tells us that he wants each of us, in turn to stand up, say our name, let everyone know why we are taking this class and tell one thing about ourselves. Then, with a big smile, he looks at me and says, “Why don’t you start!”

Seriously?

Right off the bat, I had to stand up and speak in front of the entire class. Arrrgggg!!!

I reluctantly stood up, took a deep breath and faked my best ‘confident smile’ and said, “Hi, my name is Inge, I am taking this public speaking class because I literally hate speaking in public and I want to work on that area for personal growth. I have a blog and enjoy sitting behind my computer screen where I can comfortably write, express and edit myself!”

It took my heart at least ten minutes to regulate itself, before the teacher tells us that each of us will stand up in front of the classroom and give a short speech before the end of the evening. Double Arrrgggg!!!

Yup! Nothing like hitting the ground running.

Most of the people in the class wanted to work on their fear of speaking in public as well. It felt good to be in a room full of people who had that common thread and could root for each other and give positive feed back.

There were two girls that had been in the United States for only ten months; one from China and one from Germany. They could barely speak English but they did their very best and did great. I only had to work through my fears and they had to work through their fears and the language barrier.

All in all, it was fun, nerve-racking, but fun!

It was nice to do something for myself for a change; it had been a long time since I was sitting in a classroom. But I came home with a new energy, a smile and a rush of adrenaline and it felt great!

I believe that God wants us to use our gifts to glorify Him.

It is our job to figure what our gifts are,
fine tune them
and get working.

My favorite part, which keeps repeating itself in my head is, “My year of speaking dangerously!” I love it!


Susan Cain: The power of introverts


What will this year be for you?

moments of reflection

Time pauses briefly and allows me to breathe in moments.
Today, I am enjoying moments of reflection.
Moments that entwined with other people whom I love
who challenged me to grow into the woman I am today.
I am blessed. I am humbled.
I am still becoming who I am meant to be.


If we discover a desire within us
that nothing in this world can satisfy,
also we should begin to wonder if perhaps
we were created for another world.

C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Slow down…focus…breathe

“Breathe…stay calm….relax…”

I have quietly repeated this to myself over the last week. I was sick over the weekend and now I am trying to play catch-up. I was a bit behind before I got sick. So, I am making some adjustments to get through the laundry, phone calls, lists, errands, baking and so forth.
So far, I have added more caffeine, cut out an hour of sleep a night, said, “no,” to some people (sorry), delegated and let my kids watch an extra show (or two, gulp!). It seems to be working. I am making baby steps in catching up.

The kids and I decorated the inside of the house for Christmas and my husband and the kids hung up lights outside. Some of the decorations are old….








and some have been added recently…








I like hearing the kids saying, “Oh, I remember this!” as they scamper to hang the decorations in some oddly placed fashion always below eye level. I don’t mind. My two youngest are little. They are healthy and energetic and enjoy helping me decorate. My oldest is busy with college, work, church and giving back to others what he has learned.

What is there to fuss about, really?

‘That the Christmas Nutcracker should really be placed up here’ or complain ‘That I would much rather have the pretty, white lights gracing our house.’

Isn’t it all just fluff when you stop and think about what is really important?

I know of two women that are currently passing away. They are leaving behind spouses, children, grandchildren and many loved ones. Many are lifting them up in prayers.

- Who cares about a Christmas Nutcracker? -

I think of my friend, Jeannette, who has buried a husband and two of her four children. She lost her last one just this past January. She is facing this Christmas with fresh pain but not without hope. The hope that is sometimes lost in the decorations, the lists and the stress of this time of year.

And that is the hope of Jesus Christ.

This hope keeps me going through some of the toughest times I have ever faced. If you are overwhelmed, facing difficulties, illness, loss or recovering from a stapled finger (wink, wink), I encourage you not to lose hope but search for it. You don’t even have to move away from your computer screen. Just click here or read below.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1-2

So please forget about the “Perfect” Christmas/gift/house/dinner/decorations/cookies/music/candles/card/wrapping paper/outfit/kids/impressions and enjoy the fact that you are alive at this moment, enjoy those who you are with, be kind and patient and be thankful for what you have.

Enjoy the little things.

They are so more important then all the fussing.

Don’t lose focus on the reason we celebrate; true Joy, true Hope!

So, I smile when I pull in the driveway and see my colorful bulbs clinging to the side of the house. It means I have a husband who cares enough to help and build memories with our boys and that we have electricity! I smile when I walk down the hallway and notice a tiny Christmas decoration way out of site because I know it was carefully placed by little, helpful hands that grow up so fast. Too soon, those hands will be asking for the car keys, and one day they might carefully place a ring on a woman’s finger.

But for now,
I stop and smile.

I am thankful to be alive and blessed with so much love and hope.


“Honey, you can put the Christmas Nutcracker anywhere you like! Yes, it looks perfect right there next to the recycling!”

F is for Funk

Trying to pull myself out of a funk is nearly impossible.

I muster, grasp, strive and fail.

Not until I was driving my boys to a class today, in a torrential downpour, did it sneak up on me again.

There is nothing on this earth that can give us true joy.



Not people,

not food,

not any amount

of technological distractions

or intellectual pursuits.



The promises this world whispers turn up empty.

I know this deep down inside.

Life has an interesting way of distracting me

and I let it.


Not until I hit rock bottom, or come close to it,

do I realize again, that without faith I am nothing.

But what is even sadder, without it,

I have nothing to offer.


I don’t want to just distract you

from whatever you want to be distracted from.

(Believe me, I love surfing the internet and
checking up on my favorite websites.)

But I hope, in a small way, I can pass on a smile, a laugh,

encouragement but most importantly hope.

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
James 1: 2-6

So back to the driving in torrential rain…I am sulking inside and feeling gloomy and this song comes on and I am humbled again!



The words are powerful enough to snap me out of my funk and refocus my thoughts toward the only true hope in this world; God.



I pray whatever trials you are facing today,

the small,

the big and

the chronic ones,

that you may find peace and true hope.



You are not alone.



You are loved.

N is for Nudge

Need a nudge to think a little more positively?
View this video of Stephanie Nielson skiing.
This amazing woman had to struggle back to life, literally,
and here she is, once again, enjoying life to the fullest!

You should really read her story.

Her story will move you, and it will make you cry.

It reminds me to truly enjoy the little things!

Pass it on if you know someone who could

use a little nudge today!!

***

a little more love

smile

On gray days, I put on my brightest top,

make sure I talk to my sister on the phone

(even just for a minute),

send the boys outside to “play”,

set some time aside to pray and collect my thoughts,

take an extra B complex

and

sometimes

I watch a video or two that makes me smile

this video makes me smile

and this video challenges me

to be thankful for whatever

God has brought in to my life

hope

When straightening up the back yard last night I saw this little, white butterfly floating in our kiddie pool. I skipped back in the house, grabbed the camera and snapped a couple pictures of it. I liked the white against the blue background. It looked very peaceful.

The next morning, the boys scampered out into the yard and my youngest told me to come and see what was floating in the pool. I looked and said, “Aw, poor butterfly, it looks like it had a hurt wing. I guess it just didn’t make it!” I went back to what I was doing, when I soon heard my son squeal and say, “It is alive! Look, Mom, it’s flying!” I rushed back and sure enough, there was the butterfly flittering around. My youngest had reached his little hand under the moth and gently lifted him out of the water.

Never give up.

Sometimes all one needs is a little hand.